piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I could make wine with my vomit
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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