She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this boner is exhausting
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
