but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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