Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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