Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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