And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
