are you still at the devil's house?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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