i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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