We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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