Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize