STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
