You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
