He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
