I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
