Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize