We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
