There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
