I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
whose parrot is this?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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