My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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