But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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