You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
