After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
