my phone needs a breathalizer
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize