Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize