The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
