Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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