the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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