am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You left your phone here
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