she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
