So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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