South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
