I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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