just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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