Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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