i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
