He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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