flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
