I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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