No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize