i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
