I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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