Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
