Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize