8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am in a vortex of obligation.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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