Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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