it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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