the day after is always just damage control
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
