My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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