i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
