I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
