U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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