Just cropdusted the office
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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