that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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