What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I deserve this hangover.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
