If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
