I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize